back in 1983 dogs and illegal immigrants were not permitted to ride in family cars.

According to reputable news journals which I never bother to read, Seamus – an Irish setter --was the family pet of Republican Presidential candidate, Mitt Romney.  The year was 1983.

 

Apparently, back in 1983 dogs and illegal immigrants were not permitted to ride in family cars.  It was a felony offense, like failing to dis-charge your hand gun inside the city limits of Mobile, Alabama during Mardi Gras.  If you wanted to take your dog or your illegal house maid on vacation creativity was required.

Like most of us, the Romney clan had numerous houses. One of their houses was in Massachusetts.  Another was in Canada.  

Like most of us, the Romney's traveled every summer from their Massachusetts house to their Canadian house for three months of family lawn bowling, family ice cream socials and family spiritual discernment. 

Okay, mainly ice cream.

As they were packing to leave their winter home for their summer home, Mrs. Romney said to Mitt, "Mitt, how are we going to get Seamus – our adorable Irish setter -- and Maria del Carmen – our adorable illegal housekeeper – to Canada.  It's 1983 and, as you know since you're a lawyer or MBA or something -- they're forbidden by law from riding in the car?"

"No problemo," Mitt said, winking at Maria del Carmen as he showed-off his mastery of Spanglish, "I already got it figured."

Mitt had built a special car carrier for Seamus that he attached to the roof of the family station wagon.  Maria del Carmen was disguised as a Gucci suitcase and stacked in the back along with the rest of the Gucci luggage.

All went well on the 650 mile trip until Seamus got diarrhea and discharged bits of Kibbles and Bits along a major inter-state and several back roads.  Not to mention the station wagon.  Hopefully the wagon's windows were closed.

Mitt had planned for this eventuality, too.  He stopped at one of the service stations, common in 1983, that had special facilities for washing dog crap off cars.  Mitt hosed the diarrhea off Seamus and the wagon, and put Seamus back in his special roof top doggie carrier.  Then he asked Maria del Carmen if she wanted to use the rest room because he didn't know if they'd pass any service stations with special facilities for cleaning up illegal immigrants who might get diarrhea.

"No gracias, Mr. Mitt," Maria del Carmen whimpered.  "But I bent into shape of Gucci luggage for so long, I lose all feeling in my legs." 

"No problemo."  Romney said, smiling. 

And then, like most of us, the Romneys continued driving with their family dog – Seamus -- on the roof of the family car to their Canadian summer family home.