Actual News from Fox (Faux) News…

Dateline: Fantasyland.

Item #1: Fox News, where faux news is the news, has again started waging its yearly war against the imaginary War On Christmas. 

Angry Fox News pundit -- Bill O'Reilly, the most successful pundit in all of pundit land -- has bravely stepped in to fight the War On Christmas even though there is no War On Christmas.  But it's good for ratings in O'Reilly's prime demographic – people aged 61 to 81 who fall asleep in their recliners after watching Matlock reruns and having eaten their prunes.

O'Reilly is upset because some people say Happy Holidays instead of Merry Christmas.  This is how insidious the fake War On Christmas is.  It begins with salutations of benign greeting to strangers that haven't been approved by Bill O'Reilly.  And ends with godless atheist pagans devouring our newborn children.

Beware Christians everywhere, the heathens are out to steal our holiday, sorta like the Grinch who stole Christmas.

Thankfully, O'Reilly is here to defend the indefensible. 

Although a priest who was a guest on O'Reilly's show said there was no War On Christmas and that O'Reilly was acting in an unchristian manner by displaying such an angry, unforgiving spirit. 

But what do priests know??

Item#2:  Carl Rove, Republican mastermind once given the title of Bush's Brain (a title Rove has returned since Bush has an approval rating below that of bedbugs), just got bumped from the Fox (Faux) News  roster.  Rove was a BIG PLAYER in the recent elections, spending more than $300 million of OPM (Other People's Money) NOT getting Republicans elected.  Rove had a fit of pique on election night when Fox's own analysts called the election for Obama. 

Rove insisted it was all a mistake.  The election was supposed to go to Romney.  Rove hadn't counted on 52% of the voters in the country pulling the lever for O with only 47% for R.  
Rove's other candidates in Senate and House races were also trounced.  Rove earned less than 2% on his investment --- of OPM (Other People's Money).

But fear not, Rove – like a vampire rising from the grave – will be back.  No political operatives in this country – Democrat or Repub. -- ever go away.

And that's part of the problem.

Item #3:  Dick Morris, another Fox analyst, is also getting the boot.  Morris predicted with an absolute straight face before the election that Romney would win by a landslide. Hilarious. 

Morris also predicted Repubs would pick up 10 TEN Senate seats (they actually lost a couple) including the seat held by local hero – Sherrod Brown. 

Morris's other predictions included this beauty – Obama would drop out of the race.  Wow. No wonder the flat earthers love Morris – he lives in the same world they do.

Item#4: No announcement yet, but one suspects Sarah Palin's fifteen minutes have about run their course, too.  

How long will it be before Palin goes back to Alaska … PERMANETLY?   

I STAND BY WHAT I SAID … WHATEVER IT WAS … I SAID

Willard Romney:  I don't care about the 47%.

Willard Romney:  This campaign is about 100% of the American people.

Willard Romney:  On my first day as president I will repeal Obama-care.

Willard Romney:  I am the grandfather of Obama-care.

Willard Romney: I support a woman's right to choose.

Willard Romney:  I am pro-life.

Willard Romney:  I will build a wall to keep illegals from entering the country.

Willard Romney:  It's not about building walls.  It's about building trust.

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This week the Romney campaign rebooted six times and rolled out eleven new Romneys for the voters to choose from.  Don't like the current Romney?  No problem.

Wait six hours, another one's coming along.

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TIME TO RE-ARRANGE THE DECK CHAIRS

This latest disclosure about the foundering Romney presidential effort elicited the following comment from a veteran Republican campaign manager:

'The only way Obama can lose now is if Al Qaeda crashes a jet liner loaded with nuclear weapons into the Statue of Liberty during Monday night football.  It's over.  How do you spell Titanic?  Mitt Romney.'

ANOTHER EPISODE IN ROMNEYLAND

Last Friday on ABC's Good Morning, America, Willard Romney said that an income of $200,000 to $250,000 is MIDDLE INCOME. 

Middle income?


MIDDLE INCOME? 

Where is $250,000 considered middle income?  In Romneyland, that's where?
The Census Bureau says that the actual median household income in this country is $50,000.

It's more evidence that Romney lives in that fantasy world called Romneyland.

In Romneyland Willard is some kind of classic businessman building solid companies to give people jobs. 

Not so here in the real world.  
Here, Romney made his fortune by taking over struggling companies, paying himself HUGE consultancy fees and then saddling the companies with debt to pay those consultancy fees.  And then shipping the lost jobs out of the country.

My dog knows more about job creation than Romney.

And don't try to tie my dog to the roof of your car, Romney.  We're on to you, Willard.

Here, in the real world, most families are getting by on $50,000 … 

WILLARD --- ARM CHAIR GENERAL

Willard Romney had a deferment during the Viet Nam War so he could be a missionary in FRANCE (FRANCE!!??). 

Romney said his sons didn't go to Iraq or Afghanistan because they were serving their country by campaigning for him. 

Although we spend more on defense than the next 13 countries COMBINED, Romney says he will expand the military if he's elected – even though the military has said it doesn't need expanding.

Romney failed to mention or thank the service men and women in harm's way in his Republican acceptance speech.

Romney: Your kids are going, mine are staying home.

BATTLE OF THE CONVENTION DRESSES

Now that Mrs Obama has spoken.  At the Democratic.  Convention.  It's time to choose which wife of a guy who is or wants to be President had on a better dress.  One dress is pink the other is red.  Both dresses had stitches and hems and other features common to dresses.  Like hooks, probably.  Or maybe zippers.  

The Twitter-sphere was gaga over Mrs Obama's dress.  There were 20,000 Tweets during her speech.  But that proves nothing.  Because the people who would favor Mrs. Willard's dress don't know what a Tweet is.  They think a Tweet is the sound Tweety Bird made in cartoons when she saw a puddy tat.

The Romneys and Friends

Willard and Mrs Willard are the best hosts in the whole world.  When you come to one of their sixty two houses for a visit they make you feel like royalty, because that's the way to do it.

They give you a nice room on the seventh floor and they feed you tea and oranges that come all the way from China.

And if one of the boys is home for a home-cooked meal cooked by one of the Romney's dozen French chefs (Willard LUVS the French), the Romneys will tell the boy to take you out back for a swim in the Pacific Ocean that they now own, which they bought for a song when it was in bankruptcy. 

So if you ever get an invite to visit the Romneys don't be afraid to ask for anything, anything in the whole world.